Wednesday 21 October 2020 is International Pronouns Day. It seeks to make respecting, sharing, and educating about personal pronouns commonplace. Referring to people by the pronouns they determine for themselves is basic to human dignity. Being referred to by the wrong pronouns particularly affects transgender and gender nonconforming people. In this blog, Charlie Barnes who is a member of our Women in Transport D&I Bus Group shares her beginner’s guide to personal pronouns.
By Charlie Barnes
Building an inclusive workplace requires accepting and including all employees without exception. This requires an awareness of the language we use and the assumptions we make, and working to become good allies and role models.
LGBT+ Vocabulary
This blog will refer to words such as cisgender, LGBT+ and non-binary. If you are unfamiliar with these terms it is advised that you look them up.
Although speaking to a member of the LGBT+ community is a valid way to learn about being an ally, consider doing some research in your own time – it can be tiring for members of the community to have to regularly explain their identity to other people, even if they are well meaning.
There is a wide range of resources online that you can use to inform yourself. For example the Stonewall charity website provide resources for people and businesses building an inclusive workplace. There is a comprehensive Glossary of Terms on the site that defines and explains a range of terms on the subject.
What’s in a Pronoun?
Most of us use pronouns all the time without thinking about it – “I”, “you”, “she”, “it”, “them” or “this”. We often use gender pronouns such as “he/him/his” and “she/her/hers” to refer to people we are talking about. Usually we interpret or “read” a person’s gender based on their outward appearance and expression and assume a pronoun based on that, however our reading may not be a correct interpretation of the person’s gender identity.
There are a range of pronouns, the most common being “he/him/his”, “she/her/hers” and “they/them/theirs”, although there are others that are less common. While the pronouns we choose to use often have some relation to our gender identities, pronouns themselves are not always an indication of gender.
If you are referring to an individual and do not know their pronoun then it is polite to refer to them in the gender neutral “they/them/theirs” until you find out.
This is because the experience of being misgendered (referring to someone by the wrong gender) can be hurtful, angering and even distracting. The experience of accidentally misgendering someone can be embarrassing for both parties, creating tension and leading to communications breakdowns.
‘Deadnaming’
It is impolite to refer to anyone by the wrong name, especially if they have already expressed a preference. However it is particularly offensive if you refer to a transgender person by their ‘dead name’ - the name they were called prior to their transition.
Creating Opportunities to Ask for (or Offer) Pronouns
As our reading of a person’s gender identity may not be correct, it is good practice to ask someone’s preferred pronoun or allow them space to offer it. The best practice will vary depending on the nature of the workplace and the processes in place, but there are some suggestions below.
Forms: Allow people to disclose preferred name and gender. This is a recommended best practice not only for transgender people but for anyone who uses a preferred name or nickname. Use this information to introduce new employees.
When using titles in forms, it is becoming good practice to include the gender neutral honorific “Mx” (pronounced ‘mux’) alongside “Mr”, “Mrs”, “Ms” and “Miss”.
Corporate social networks, platforms & digital directories: Allow employees to self-ID preferred name and pronouns as part of their profile.
Email: Include personal pronouns in email signature lines.
Meetings & Events: Make offering personal pronouns part of the introduction process at the start of meetings or events, for example:
“Can everyone please introduce themselves? Please say your name, the department you work in and if you would like, your personal pronouns”.
“My name is John Smith, I work in Human Resources and my pronouns are they, them, theirs”.
Networking: Role model appropriate pronouns when introducing people to others.
Integrating these practices into business-as-usual, and in particular recruitment and new starter processes can be a strong way to build the culture into the business. For example, it is important for cisgender people to learn to share their pronouns as it normalises the practice and shows that it is a safe space for all.
Remember: the simple act of asking someone their preferred pronoun shows them that you care and want to do the right thing.
Addressing a Group
When speaking to a room full of people or sending a mass email, it can be easy to fall into habits. Especially if you know that everyone in a certain department is male, or believe that “guys” is a gender neutral term to address people (opinion is split so it can be good practice to avoid it). But what happens if someone new joins that department, or the email is forwarded on? Mistakes happen, and it can be hurtful or embarrassing when they do.
Best practice should always be applied as it helps to form good habits, for example because addressing an email “Dear gentlemen and Jessica” can come across as alienating to the named person and highlights that they are different to the rest of the group.
If you are referring to a group of people and do not know the preferred pronouns of all of them then it is polite to refer to the collective using gender neutral pronouns “they/them/theirs”.
Suggested Alternatives
Transport for London abolished use of the phrase “ladies and gentlemen” for use during announcements to inclusive greetings such as “good morning everyone”. Below please find some suggestions of alternatives to use in the workplace.
Hello all
Welcome everybody
Good evening team
Good day co-workers
Greetings colleagues
Good day gentlepersons
Salutations distinguished guests
Howdy partners
Hey folks
Making Mistakes
If you make a mistake in the way you address someone then it is best to just apologise, correct yourself and move on. It can take time to adjust to the concept if you’re new to it, and everyone makes mistakes. By making the effort to work on it you show that you care and others will work with you.
If you witness someone misgender someone else or use the incorrect pronoun then it can help to gently correct them without drawing attention to the issue, although where possible it is good to get guidance from the misgendered party on how they would like it to be dealt with when they are present.
Women in Transport is a non-profit network with a mission of advancing women working in transport. Annual membership of Women in Transport is £60 per year providing access to professional development, mentoring and networking opportunities. We very much welcome guest blogs from our members - a great way to share the incredible diversity of opportunity in transport, raise your profile and connect with our community.
Follow us @transportwm on Twitter, on Linkedin at Women in Transport and at @transportwmn on Instagram for events, news and updates.